Why Our Feelings Rule Our Decisions (More Than We Think)!

We all like to believe our choices are based on cold, hard logic. But the truth is, feelings often play a way bigger role in our decisions than we realise. This isn’t just according to your love life (although that can definitely be emotional!) but across all sorts of choices, big and small. Emotions, as revealed by Cass R. Sunstein in his book “Decisions about Decisions: Practical Reason in Ordinary Life”, are not just bystanders in our decision-making process. Emotion plays a significant role, often swaying our judgment and influencing our decisions in ways we might not even realise. At Rudder4life, our Purpose4Life Programme is a comprehensive course designed to empower young adults to develop self-awareness and social consciousness, promoting responsible decision-making.

It’s a common belief that decision-making is a rational process, but Sunstein challenges this notion. He argues that emotions, often unexpected and powerful, can take the reins when we’re making decisions, be it a life-altering choice or a mundane one.

For example, if we have a strong emotional attachment to a particular outcome, such as a relationship or a job, we may overlook important facts or alternatives that don’t align with our desires. Conversely, feelings of fear, anxiety or uncertainty can lead us to make overly cautious choices that don’t serve our best interests, like avoiding risks that could lead to personal growth or success.

Sunstein also notes that the emotional impact of a decision can be just as important as the outcome itself. The way a decision makes us feel – whether it’s pride, regret, relief or something else – can profoundly shape our future choices and behaviour. Imagine you’re trying to decide what to have for lunch. You finally settle on a delicious sandwich, but as soon as you start eating it, you realise that it’s not as good as you expected. You might feel a sense of regret and disappointment, and that feeling could influence your future choices. Maybe you’ll be more cautious in picking new lunch spots in the future. In this way, the emotional impact of your lunch decision shapes your future behaviour, just like how the emotional impact of any decision can affect the choices we make.

So why do emotions have such a powerful influence on our decision-making? Sunstein suggests it’s because our brains are wired to rely heavily on intuitive, emotion-driven processes rather than purely analytical ones. This ‘dual-process’ model of cognition means that even when we think we’re being rational, our feelings are often calling the shots. In this model, two systems are at play: one is fast, automatic, and emotional, and the other is slow, deliberate, and rational. The emotional system often takes precedence, especially in high-stakes or emotionally charged situations.

The empowering news is that by becoming more aware of how emotions impact our judgement, we can learn to make wiser, more considered decisions. The book recommends some effective strategies for managing emotions when making important decisions:

  • Slow Down the Process: Sunstein emphasises the importance of slowing down the decision-making process rather than rushing into choices impulsively. When we feel strong emotions like fear, excitement or anger, we tend to make snap judgments that we may later regret. Taking the time to carefully consider all the options and potential consequences can help us override our gut reactions and make more thoughtful, rational decisions.
  • Seek Diverse Perspectives: Gathering input from a variety of people can counteract the influence of our own biases and emotions. We should seek out diverse viewpoints, whether it’s talking to friends and family, consulting experts, or reading opposing arguments. Exposing ourselves to a range of perspectives can help us see blind spots in our reasoning and make more balanced choices.
  • Acknowledge Emotions: Rather than trying to ignore or suppress our feelings, Sunstein advises consciously acknowledging them before making a decision. Identifying the emotions at play – whether it’s fear, excitement, anger, etc. – and reflecting on how they might be swaying our judgement can help us make more objective, clear-headed choices. This self-awareness is key to managing the influence of emotions and feeling validated in our decision-making process.
  • Use Decision Frameworks: We should develop structured decision-making frameworks that incorporate emotional awareness.  This could involve writing out the decision, listing the options, and carefully weighing the potential outcomes and trade-offs. Having a consistent process to follow can prevent us from getting carried away by momentary feelings.
  • Learn from Experience: Reflecting on past decisions and how emotions impacted the outcomes can provide valuable lessons for the future. It is vital to analyse and reflect on our decision-making track record to identify recurring emotional biases or patterns. This self-reflection can help us gain valuable insights and make wiser choices going forward.

It is essential to acknowledge emotions without letting them overpower the decision-making process. Pausing, gathering facts, narrowing options, seeking input, and taking the necessary time allow us to make choices that balance emotional intelligence with logical reasoning. This enables us to make decisions that are more aligned with our true values and best interests rather than being unduly swayed by fleeting feelings. This approach leads to the best possible outcomes for everyone involved.

Ultimately, Sunstein’s insights serve as a powerful reminder that we are not purely rational beings but are deeply influenced by our feelings/emotions. Understanding and using the power of our emotions is crucial for making choices aligned with our values and best interests. Adopting this reality empowers us to manage our lives with clarity and purpose. Let’s welcome the full spectrum of our humanity and use it to make deliberate and meaningful decisions.

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