In today’s fast-paced world, we often find ourselves caught up in our own lives, rushing from one task to another without taking a moment to truly connect with the people around us. But what if you knew that there is a simple yet profound way to improve our relationships and create a more empathetic and harmonious world? In his book How to Know a Person, David Brooks says, “There is one skill that lies at the heart of any healthy person, family, school, community organisation, or society: the ability to see someone else deeply and make them feel seen—to accurately know another person, to let them feel valued, heard, and understood”.
Brooks’ insight goes beyond individual interactions, touching on the very essence of our societal fabric. The ability to truly see someone, to understand them deeply, and to make them feel valued and heard is a skill that not only strengthens individuals but also promotes healthier families, schools, communities, and societies. At Rudder4life, we embrace this principle wholeheartedly, integrating it into every aspect of our work. Today, we delve into the significance and implications of this profound observation.
At the core of Brooks’ message lies a call to empathy and connection. To see someone deeply is to move beyond surface-level interactions and grasp their essence—their fears, dreams, and vulnerabilities. It’s about recognising the humanity in each individual and creating a space where they feel genuinely understood and appreciated.
This ability to see and be seen forms the foundation of healthy relationships and thriving communities. When individuals feel seen and valued, they’re more likely to open up, communicate authentically, and form meaningful connections. This sense of being understood builds trust, empathy, and a sense of belonging, which are essential for personal well-being and societal harmony.
Embodying the essence of seeing and being seen requires active listening, empathy, and genuine curiosity about others. It means setting aside preconceived notions and biases, approaching interactions with an open heart and mind, and creating a safe, non-judgmental space for others to express themselves.
The benefits of seeing and being seen in relationships include:
- Improved Emotional Well-being: Feeling seen and understood by others can enhance emotional well-being, decrease feelings of loneliness, and builds a sense of connection and understanding.
- Enhanced Trust and Communication: Being seen in a relationship promotes trust, honesty, and open communication, building a supportive and nurturing environment for both individuals.
- Strengthened Bonds: When individuals feel seen and valued, it strengthens the bonds within the relationship, resulting in deeper connections and a sense of belonging.
- Increased Empathy and Understanding: Seeing and being seen fosters empathy and understanding between individuals, allowing for better mutual support and validation of emotions and experiences.
- Promotion of Self-worth and Self-esteem: Being seen by others can boost self-worth and self-esteem, validate one’s identity, emotions, and needs, and contribute to a positive self-image.
- Health Benefits: Strong relationships built on seeing and being seen have been linked to various health benefits, which includes lower rates of anxiety and depression, improved immune health, and even a longer lifespan.
When we make a conscious effort to truly see others, to understand their perspectives, and to make them feel valued, heard, and understood, we create a powerful connection that transcends boundaries and unites us all. Seeing others deeply, we can enrich our relationships, build greater understanding and empathy, and contribute to a more cohesive and harmonious society. We can break down barriers of race, gender, and culture, and create a culture of connection and compassion that brings out the best in all of us. So, let’s commit to see and be seen and take the time to truly listen to others, to understand their stories, and to appreciate their unique perspectives. Let’s make a conscious effort to make others feel valued, heard, and understood, and in doing so, let’s create a world that is more empathetic, compassionate, and connected. As Brooks says, seeing another person is akin to looking somebody in the eye and seeing something large in them, which in turn, reflects something larger in ourselves. The power is in our hands, and the opportunity is now. Thank you, David Brooks!