(Part 1 of Emotional Intelligence)
Emotional intelligence(EQ) means understanding and managing your feelings, as well as recognising and empathising with the feelings of others. It’s about being able to control how you feel and react, and to understand the feelings of others. For example, imagine you’re angry because someone made fun of you. EQ would help you recognise and understand why you’re angry and then choose how you react to that emotion. So, you might take a few deep breaths to calm down before responding or walking away from the situation altogether.
EQ can help you overcome these everyday challenges and succeed in all aspects of your life. Whether working on personal growth, building relationships, or pursuing your career goals. We share practical tools and tips to help you thrive.
“Emotional intelligence is the key that unlocks all doors.” – Daniel Goleman.
Emotional intelligence has four main components:
- Self-awareness: It means knowing yourself well. It’s about understanding your thoughts, feelings, and actions and recognising your strengths and weaknesses. For example, if you’re feeling sad, you might be able to identify that feeling and know why you’re feeling that way. Learn more
- Self-management: This means being able to control your own emotions and reactions. For instance, if you’re feeling nervous before a big presentation, you might be able to take a few deep breaths to calm down and feel more in control. Learn more
- Social awareness: This means being able to recognise and understand the emotions of others. For example, if you notice that a friend seems upset, you might be able to pick up on their body language and tone of voice to understand how they’re feeling. Learn more
- Relationship management: This means communicating effectively and building positive relationships with others. Say, if you disagree with a friend, you might be able to listen actively to their point of view and work together to find a solution that benefits both of you. Learn more
Additionally, self-awareness and social awareness are about recognising and understanding our emotions and addressing the question of “Who am I?”. On the other hand, self-management and relationship management are about controlling our actions and addressing the question of “What do I do?”.
“When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion.” – Dale Carnegie.
So, developing emotional intelligence is an ongoing process that requires consistent effort and practice. Here are some specific strategies for developing emotional intelligence:
- Practice active listening: When conversing with someone, try to listen to what they’re saying and understand their point of view. So, you might ask clarifying questions and repeat what you’ve heard to ensure you know or summarise their main points.
- Recognise and regulate your emotions: Pay attention to them and identify what triggers them. Then, when you feel a strong emotion, take a moment to acknowledge it and try to regulate it. For example, if you’re angry, you might try taking a few deep breaths or walking to calm down.
- Seek feedback from others: Ask trusted friends or family members for feedback on how you come across in social situations. You might ask them to be honest about your strengths and areas for improvement regarding emotional intelligence.
- Practice empathy: Try walking in other people’s shoes and understanding their perspectives. This can help you build more positive relationships and communicate more effectively.
- Practice gratitude: Develop a sense of gratitude for the good things in your life, and express that gratitude to others. This can lead to building stronger relationships and feeling more positive emotions.
- Practice mindfulness: Practice meditation or yoga to help you build self-awareness and regulate your emotions.
“To handle yourself, use your head; to handle others, use your heart.” – Eleanor Roosevelt.
Emotional intelligence is crucial in managing social situations, stress, and emotions, nurturing effective communication and building positive relationships. Consider the following scenarios highlighting the benefits of emotional intelligence:
- Improved social skills: You can become more adept at reading social cues, understanding the emotions of others, and communicating effectively. This can help build stronger relationships with friends, family, and colleagues. Imagine you’re at a party and don’t know many people. EQ would allow you to pick up on social cues, understand the emotions of others, and feel more comfortable interacting with new people. Practising such social awareness contributes to your personal growth.
- Better communication: You can express your emotions and needs and listen actively to others. It can help make communication more effective and fewer misunderstandings. Imagine you disagree with a friend about something important. EQ would help you listen actively to their point of view, express your feelings and needs clearly, and work together to find a solution that benefits both of you. This demonstration reflects your self-awareness.
- Reduced stress: By recognising and regulating your own emotions, you can reduce feelings of stress and anxiety. Imagine feeling overwhelmed with schoolwork and other responsibilities. EQ would help you to recognise when you’re feeling stressed or anxious and to use strategies like taking deep breaths or taking a break to manage those emotions. This showcases your ability to self-manage your feelings.
- Building positive relationships: Imagine starting a new job and wanting to make a good impression on your coworkers. EQ would help you to communicate effectively, show empathy and understanding towards your colleagues, and build positive relationships with them over time. This demonstrates your adeptness at managing relationships.
In conclusion, emotional intelligence is vital for overcoming difficult social situations, handling stress and emotions, communicating effectively, and building positive relationships. By practising active listening, regulating our emotions, and seeking feedback from others, we can develop and enhance our emotional intelligence. This, in turn, leads to better understanding and empathetic connections with those around us, improved conflict resolution, and overall personal and professional success. Accepting and improving our emotional intelligence helps us to overcome life’s challenges with greater resilience, forge meaningful relationships, and develop a sense of well-being and achievement.
“The capacity to be aware of, control, and express one’s emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically, is key to success in work and in life.” – Travis Bradberry