Are you tired of feeling like you have no control over your own life? Do you struggle to stick to your goals and find yourself constantly giving in to short-term pleasures? If so, you’re not alone. The good news is that self-control is a skill that can be learned and developed with practice. It involves regulating your thoughts, emotions, and behaviours so you can achieve your long-term objectives and live the life you truly want. Here, we will explore the what, why, and how of self-control, providing you with actionable tips to maintain awareness of conflicts between your goals and desires. So, are you ready to take control of your life and start achieving your goals?
Self-control is like a captain steering a ship through stormy seas. It is a cognitive process that involves several brain regions and neurochemicals and is the ability to resist impulses, control our emotions, and make decisions that align with our long-term goals. Self-control is essential for success in many areas of life, including academic performance, career advancement, and personal relationships. It allows us to maintain awareness of conflicts between our goals and our current desires and make choices that are consistent with our values and aspirations. Without self-control, we may become impulsive and make decisions that are not in our best interests.
So, what is the science behind self-control? Self-control involves several brain regions and neurochemicals, including the prefrontal cortex, the anterior cingulate cortex (ACC), and neurotransmitters such as dopamine and serotonin. The prefrontal cortex is responsible for executive functions such as decision-making, planning, and attention. It plays a critical role in self-control by helping us resist impulses and make decisions that align with our long-term goals. The ACC, meanwhile, is responsible for detecting conflicts between our goals and our current desires. It helps us monitor our behaviour and detect when we are about to make a mistake or give in to temptation.
Furthermore, dopamine and serotonin are neurotransmitters that play a role in self-control. Dopamine is associated with reward and pleasure, and it can make us more likely to give in to temptation. Serotonin, on the other hand, is associated with self-regulation and inhibition, and it can help us resist impulses.
Moreover, the causes for losing self-control can be complex and multifaceted, but a lack of emotional control and stress are often cited as significant factors. A lack of emotional control can lead to impulsive behaviour and difficulty regulating emotions, which can negatively impact self-control. It can be due to a variety of factors, including genetics, learned behaviour, and brain structure. For example, a study found that the same part of the brain that controls empathy also controls self-control, and disrupting this part of the brain can inhibit a person’s ability to behave altruistically. Secondly, stress activates the body’s fight-or-flight response, which can lead to impulsive behaviour and difficulty regulating emotions. Additionally, stress can deplete a person’s self-control resources, making it more difficult to exercise self-control in subsequent tasks. It is known as ego depletion, and it can have a significant impact on a person’s ability to regulate their behaviour and achieve their goals.
So, a lack of emotional control, i.e. surrendering to dopamine and stress, i.e., submitting to serotonin, are significant factors that can contribute to losing self-control. Other factors that can play a role include a lack of willpower, limited self-control resources, and learned helplessness.
However, these causes are just symptoms of the real cause: maintaining awareness of conflicts between our goals and desires, which is the most crucial aspect of self-control. Here’s why: self-control demands being constantly mindful of our thoughts and emotions and recognising when we are about to make a decision that may not align with our long-term goals. When we are emotionally out of control, we react impulsively without reasoning, losing sight of our goals and surrendering to dopamine. And when under stress, we surrender to serotonin because we are mentally tired of fighting and capitulating to our desires without thinking.
Here are some strategies to maintain awareness of conflicts between your goals and desires:
- Set clear goals: Having a clear and achievable goal can help you stay focused and motivated. Write down your goals and review them regularly.
- Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness can help you become more aware of your thoughts and emotions, making it easier to recognise when you are about to make a decision that may not align with your long-term goals.
- Identify triggers: Identify the triggers that lead you to make decisions that are not in line with your goals. It could be certain people, places, or situations.
- Practice self-reflection: Regularly reflect on your decisions and actions and consider whether they are in line with your long-term goals.
- Seek support: Surround yourself with people who support your goals and can help you stay on track.
In today’s fast-paced world, self-control is increasingly important in achieving our goals and success in life. Without self-control, we cannot overcome temptations and distractions that hinder our progress and stay focused on our long-term objectives. Following simple steps such as setting clear goals, practising mindfulness, identifying triggers, practising self-reflection, and seeking support, strengthens our self-control and achieve success in all aspects of our lives. So, let’s take charge of our thoughts, emotions, and behaviours and steer our ship towards a brighter future by making self-control a habit that propels us forward.