Rising Strong: See Vulnerability as a Strength!

For all its beauty, life can often feel like an unpredictable storm. It pushes, tests, and sometimes even throws us to the ground. Many of us wish for smooth sailing, but as Brené Brown shares in her compelling book, “Rising Strong: The Reckoning. The Rumble. The Revolution.”, proper growth and resilience don’t come from avoiding these storms—they come from braving them and most importantly, learning how to stand up after every fall. With her signature blend of research and heart, Brown invites us on a journey of self-reflection and transformation that can help us learn to “rise strong.”

At the core of Brown’s message is the revelation that vulnerability is not a weakness but a wellspring of strength. She asserts that acknowledging our feelings, especially during times of failure or disappointment, is pivotal for personal growth. She eloquently states, “I believe that vulnerability—the willingness to show up and be seen with no guarantee of outcome—is the only path to more love, belonging, and joy.” This perspective inspires readers, encouraging them to embrace their emotional experiences rather than shy away.

The Three-Step Process

Brown outlines a three-step process for overcoming life’s challenges:

Step 1: The Reckoning – Facing the Fall

Imagine you’re a surfer caught in a powerful wave. It crashes over you, pulling you under and disorienting you in a swirl of saltwater and sand. The first step in Brown’s resilience process, “The Reckoning,” is like that crucial moment when, beneath the water, you acknowledge, “Yes, I am struggling.” It’s about recognising that we are indeed in the midst of something overwhelming and owning the emotional experience that comes with it.

We often try to bury these moments under excuses or denial, like sweeping dust under the rug. Brown emphasises that reckoning with our feelings requires honesty—a willingness to pause, recognise the wave for what it is, and be aware of our emotions instead of shoving them aside. By naming the experience and acknowledging our vulnerability, we lay the foundation for healing.

Step 2: The Rumble – Digging Into Our Story

Once we’ve recognised that we’re down, the next step is where the real work begins: “The Rumble”. Imagine trying to assemble a puzzle with all the pieces upside-down. This is what it feels like to confront the stories we tell ourselves about why we fell. Brown argues that we often craft quick, convenient narratives in the face of hurt—stories that cast us as victims or heroes. These stories can comfort us momentarily but rarely reflect the whole truth.

Think of the rumble as flipping each piece of the puzzle over, piece by piece. Brown encourages us to look deeper into our assumptions, question our perceptions, and confront the emotions we feel but may not want to face. She reminds us that sometimes, “rejection” is a lesson in resilience, and what feels like “failure” is a new opportunity disguised in defeat. We often realise that our struggles reveal parts of us that we’ve long ignored or misunderstood.

Through this process of introspection, we start to reshape our narratives. We learn to dig into our insecurities, confront our fears, and ultimately find clarity. Brown’s analogy of “the rumble” is fitting because, just like an earthquake, this part shakes up our inner world, dislodging old beliefs and rearranging how we see ourselves and our experiences.

Step 3: The Revolution – Rising Strong and Changing Our Lives

Finally, “The Revolution” is the culmination of our journey—a rebirth. This stage is like emerging from a long tunnel, squinting into the bright light of a new day. The revolution occurs when we apply the lessons we’ve uncovered and live from a place of resilience, compassion, and courage. It’s about choosing vulnerability over fear, empathy over bitterness, and growth over stagnation.

Imagine a garden that’s been neglected for years. After you’ve pulled out the weeds (reckoning) and tilled the soil (rumble), it’s time to plant new seeds. Brown’s revolution is about building this renewed landscape within ourselves, where we accept our imperfections and use them to fuel our continued growth. We become stronger and more capable of handling future storms because we know we’ve weathered them.

Using Vulnerability as a Path to Connection

Brown emphasises vulnerability as a source of strength rather than weakness. She reminds us that genuine connection with others happens when we’re willing to show up authentically without hiding behind perfection or pretending to have it all figured out. In a world that often equates vulnerability with fragility, Brown redefines it as a courageous act that opens the door to genuine relationships.

Imagine you’re hosting a dinner party, and everything goes wrong. The food burns, the table isn’t set perfectly, and you’re visibly stressed. At that moment, rather than hiding your feelings, you laugh, admit that things are not going as planned, and invite your friends to help. This vulnerable honesty can create a more memorable bonding experience than any perfectly planned event. By allowing ourselves to be seen as we are—flawed, human, and natural—we create opportunities for genuine connection. Similarly, admitting a mistake or sharing a personal struggle can foster trust and understanding among colleagues in a work setting.

Asking for Help as a Sign of Strength

Brown also addresses a common struggle: the discomfort of asking for help. She explains that needing assistance isn’t a sign of weakness but a testament to our humanity. People often build self-worth around being strong, independent, and self-sufficient, making asking for help feel like a personal failure. Brown’s perspective reframes this, highlighting that reaching out should be viewed as an act of bravery and connection, making the audience feel supported and understood.

Think of a time when you struggled but felt hesitant to lean on others. Maybe you feared judgment or believed that asking for help would lessen your value. It is argued that if we avoid seeking assistance, we deprive ourselves of support and discourage others from reaching out when they need us. Using vulnerability in this way helps create a culture of mutual support, where everyone is both a giver and a receiver of care and compassion.

Using Resilience in Our Daily Lives

Brown’s work is filled with examples that resonate on a personal level. She talks about relationships, work challenges, and parenting as arenas where we often fall and must find the strength to rise. Each area of life presents unique storms, but the principles of reckoning, rumbling, and revolution remain consistent. By using resilience daily, we can feel motivated and determined to overcome life’s challenges.

In the workplace, for instance, a failed project or a disagreement with a colleague might trigger self-doubt or anger. Instead of quickly brushing it off, Brown encourages us to reckon with our feelings: “Why am I so upset?” Moving into the rumble, we might dig deeper, asking ourselves what assumptions we made about the situation and whether those stories were rooted in insecurity or fear. By rising with this newfound understanding, we can address future challenges with resilience and greater empathy for ourselves and others.

Brown’s model is invaluable for building empathy in relationships. When we clash with loved ones, it’s easy to slip into blame or defence. However, the steps she outlines encourage us to explore our vulnerabilities first, making space for honest conversations where we listen without judgment. We can revolutionise our relationships by rising above our stories and choosing connection over conflict.

Guideposts for Living

Brown concludes with ten guideposts that serve as practical advice for building a fulfilling life:

  • Cultivate Authenticity: Be true to yourself. Share your thoughts and feelings openly with friends, even if they differ from their opinions. Wear clothes that reflect your style instead of what’s trendy.
  • Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself kindly. When you make a mistake at work, acknowledge that everyone makes errors instead of being harsh on yourself and focus on what you’ve learned.
  • Build Resilience: Learn to bounce back from setbacks. If you don’t get the job you applied for, take time to feel disappointed, but then update your resume and start searching for other opportunities, focusing on what you can improve for next time.
  • Embrace Gratitude and Joy: Appreciate the positive aspects of life. Keep a gratitude journal where you write down three things you’re thankful for each day, whether it’s a sunny day or a lovely chat with a friend.
  • Nurture Creativity and Play: Allow time for exploration. Set aside one evening a week to try a new hobby—like painting, playing an instrument, or even just doodling—allowing yourself to explore without the pressure of perfection.
  • Seek Calmness: Prioritise mental peace. Schedule a 10-minute meditation or mindfulness practice to centre yourself and reduce stress throughout your day.
  • Engage in Meaningful Work: Find purpose in what you do. Volunteer for a local charity or engage in a project at work that aligns with your values, helping you feel fulfilled and connected to a greater cause.
  • Laugh Often: Use humor as a tool for connection. Share funny anecdotes or jokes during family gatherings or with friends to lighten the mood and create joyful moments.

These guideposts are designed to help individuals navigate their emotional landscapes while promoting overall well-being.

Final Thoughts – Rising Strong as a Way of Life

“Rising Strong” isn’t just a guide for getting up after a fall—it’s a call to live wholeheartedly, embracing each of life’s moments with courage and authenticity. We are challenged to redefine strength, not as the absence of struggle but as the willingness to show up and engage with our challenges openly. Brown shows us that resilience is not a one-time achievement but an ongoing practice rooted in vulnerability, empathy, and self-compassion.

As we move through life, we’re bound to encounter setbacks. But armed with the insights from Rising Strong, we can navigate these challenges with grace, rise stronger with each experience, and embrace our imperfect journeys with open hearts. Brown’s wisdom reminds us that every stumble and fall is an opportunity to grow, reconnect with ourselves and others, and rise stronger than before.

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