The Art of Changing Minds in a Polarised World

In a world where opinions clash like waves against a rocky shore, the ability to change minds has become a vital skill. It’s a challenge that can feel like trying to move a mountain with a spoon—it’s slow, tedious, and often feels impossible. In his book Mindstuck: Mastering the Art of Changing Minds, change strategist Michael McQueen examines the science and psychology behind why people get stuck in their ways and how we can effectively persuade them to consider new perspectives. He provides valuable insights for anyone, including you, looking to become more influential in their personal and professional lives.

Imagine trying to drive through a thick fog—it’s hard to see where you’re going, and even the most straightforward paths feel terrifying. This is what it’s like when people get ‘Mindstuck.’ According to McQueen, ‘Mindstuck’ is a state of mental inflexibility or being overwhelmed by an excessive amount of information, which can lead to a rigid, unchanging mindset. It’s not that they lack intelligence; rather, they’re bogged down by their Instinctive Mind—fast, gut-level thinking that overrides logic. Just like the fog, this automatic mode clouds judgment and keeps people stuck in their views. Here are the key insights from the book:

  • The Two Minds: Instinctive vs. Inquiring: Our brains operate with two modes of thinking: the Instinctive Mind and the Inquiring Mind. Imagine your brain as a dance floor where two partners are constantly vying for the lead: the slow, logical “Inquiring Mind” and the quick, instinctive “Instinctive Mind.” Also, think of these as the hare and the tortoise of your mental processes. The Instinctive Mind is like the hare—fast, automatic, and driven by gut reactions. It’s the reason you jump when startled or make a snap judgment about someone in seconds. On the other hand, the Inquiring Mind is the tortoise—slow, deliberate, and logical. While this mind takes its time, it’s not always in charge. Most of the time, the Instinctive Mind is running the show, leading us to stick to our beliefs and defend them fiercely. It is like when we encounter a loud noise, such as a car backfiring, our intuitive mind may make us jump before our logical mind has time to process the situation. So, most of our decisions are actually made by the latter – our gut feelings – while our logical mind often plays catch-up, acting more like a lawyer defending our instinctive choices than an impartial judge. This “dance” explains why changing someone’s mind isn’t as simple as presenting facts and figures. It’s like trying to convince someone to switch dance partners mid-song – it feels unnatural and disruptive.
  • Identity and Ideology – The Anchors of Belief: Our beliefs and opinions aren’t just ideas floating in our heads; they’re like invisible armour protecting our sense of self. Challenging these beliefs can feel like an attack on our very identity. It’s no wonder people cling to their views as tightly as a child holds onto a security blanket. Picture your beliefs as a tree. Its roots are your identity and ideology—deep-seated factors that hold your views firmly in place. People often cling to ideas that resonate with their sense of self or group identity. For example, if your “tribe” believes a certain way, it feels natural and safe to share those views, even if they don’t make sense outside that context. For instance, we often cling to political or religious beliefs that align with our family’s or community’s views, even if those beliefs might not make logical sense to an outsider. This is why two people can watch the same event and see completely different things—it’s not the facts they’re arguing about; it’s how those facts connect to who they are. To persuade effectively, we need to become master locksmiths, finding ways to gently unlock this armour without making the person feel exposed or vulnerable.
  • Changing How People See Before How They Think: Trying to persuade someone by throwing logic at them is like trying to feed a rabbit a steak—it’s just not going to work. It is argued that to change someone’s mind, you first need to change how they feel about the subject, not just what they think. This approach plays into the Instinctive Mind’s emotional nature, setting the stage for the Inquiring Mind to engage later. For instance, rather than debating statistics, focus on stories or analogies that shift how a person views an issue. Think when we try to convince a friend to try a new restaurant; instead of listing statistics about the restaurant’s quality, you might share a story about how enjoyable your last visit was to change their emotional perspective. It’s like warming up the car before driving on a cold morning—you need to get the engine running smoothly first. This power of storytelling in persuasion can make you feel the inspiring potential impact of your narrative skills.
  • The Power of Reframing: Reframing changes how people see an issue before trying to change their opinion on it, like looking at a familiar object through a new lens. It doesn’t change the object itself but alters how you perceive it. The way you present information can dramatically affect how it’s received. For example, astronauts who have seen Earth from space often develop a broader, more unified perspective of humanity. This “overview effect” shows how a change in viewpoint can lead to profound shifts in values and priorities. Reframing allows you to subtly guide someone toward seeing a topic differently without feeling coerced or attacked. For instance, if you’re trying to persuade someone to support a new policy, you could reframe the issue by highlighting the potential benefits for them rather than focusing solely on the broader societal impact.
  • Building Affinity – The Heart of Persuasion: In our polarised world, it’s easy to see those who disagree with us as opponents. However, it is important to find common ground. It’s like realising that you and your ‘opponent’ are actually on the same team, just wearing different jerseys. People are more likely to listen to those they like and trust—it’s human nature. Shared values and experiences, such as a love for family, a desire for a better future, or a passion for a particular cause, are key in creating a sense of alignment or affinity with those you wish to persuade. This doesn’t mean pretending to be someone you’re not but rather finding genuine common ground. For example, even during disagreements, showing respect and empathy can promote connection. It’s like meeting someone halfway on a bridge—when both parties try to understand each other, the path to agreement becomes much shorter.
  • Respect, Autonomy, and the Instinctive Mind: When trying to persuade, it’s essential to show respect and give people autonomy. Think of it as planting a seed—you can’t force it to grow, but you can provide the right environment. By asking questions and offering choices, you allow others to feel empowered rather than pressured. McQueen cites examples like Ronald Reagan’s famous debate question, “Are you better off today than you were four years ago?” as a way of prompting people to reflect independently. This approach respects their ability to think for themselves, making them more receptive to new ideas. This emphasis on respect and autonomy can make you feel the need for these values in your interactions.
  • Engaging Emotions to Change Minds: Finally, McQueen promotes the importance of empathy in persuasion. Changing minds is less about data and more about the heart. Activists in Germany once ran a campaign offering cheap t-shirts, only to show a video about the harsh conditions of garment workers before the sale. Most people ended up donating instead of buying—a powerful example of how engaging emotions can drive behaviour change. It’s akin to putting yourself in someone else’s shoes; you can’t understand their path until you walk it yourself.

Mindstuck by Michael McQueen offers a compelling look at why we often fail to change our minds and what we can do differently. By understanding the battle between the Instinctive and Inquiring Minds, respecting people’s identities, and engaging emotions, we can become more effective at influencing others. So, next time you find yourself in a debate, remember it’s not just about what people think; it’s about how they feel and see the world around them. Changing minds isn’t about winning arguments; it’s about opening doors to new perspectives. In doing so, we not only influence others but also open ourselves to growth and understanding.

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